平常心

some of you may have seen my nickname on msn - 带着一颗平常心.

Sometimes I feel that I'm living in my own cocoon.
If I dont live in my cocoon, I'll be in my shell.

I have a family that many of you would deem as almost perfect.
I have to agree with that. PURR-FECT. I can't ask for more.
Maybe this is why I find other matters evolving as problems.

Was talking to donkey on saturday and he offered me very good advice on certain matters.
It's hard to find a friend who can give you a listening ear and offer you soulful advice.
It was only after I talked to him that " 带着一颗平常心 " came to my mind.
Thanks donkey =)

Well, back to why I live in my cocoon... ...

you see, some of my friends have already received letters of confirmations from the universities they applied to - which i havent.

some have already been called upon for interviews and at least know that they stand a chance - which i havent.

they face with issues and matters that makes them grow both spiritually and mentally - which i don't think i have.

sometimes i wonder if a 'perfect' life is really what u call 'PERFECT'.

I pray to God because I know that he has a plan for me.
However, sometimes i still feel uneasy.
Could this be a sign of being spiritually weak?

dear friends, what is 'THE IDEAL LIFE' for you?
the "ideal" shuts you out from many other real life matters.
so does it imply that a perfect life is one that does not face up to reality?

oh man, I'm confused.
I hate contradictions in life.
wondering what's the correct way of leading the 'ideal life'

so i start chanting "平常心", "平常心", "平常心", "平常心"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...